I found myself the other day feeling rather put-upon, with what seemed like Herculean efforts on my part to serve others in my life going completely unrecognized and unappreciated.

Stop me if you’ve heard that rant before. Pity party, table for one, please.

It may be true in situations like these to feel like we are giving and giving, and no one seems to see just how much we are willing to give. What’s happening is that we’re letting martyrdom cover up our frustration, and it seldom ends well. Even writing this now, I feel a tiny tinge of shame for my childish mental moping.

The truth is, we always have a choice. And if we choose out of our love for someone else to go the extra mile to help them when they need it, the fact is, we had just as much of an option to say ‘no.’

Before your indignation rears up and you think, ‘But Gayle, I have no choice to do x, y, or z,’ I am here to gently remind you that you do. And just as important as the choice you make is the act of owning your choices.

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but that is just what I told myself the other day. I went ahead and let the pity party rage for a few minutes, and it partied like it was 1999.  Sometimes, we need that. It kind of feels good, right? To be the star of our own little drama, nursing the hurt because there is a perverse satisfaction in feeling sorry for ourselves.

Then, I gently reminded myself that I am the power in my world. I may be dealing with the outcome of choices I made in this moment, but I can accept it and remember that I can choose differently next time. In this case, I pulled out my go-to phrase: ‘I am willing to see this situation differently.’

Poof! All was again well. At least until the next time. And of course, there may always be a next time. But I am confident I can handle whatever comes.

And so it is.

This week, I hope you can call the cops on your pity party and reframe the drama with the knowledge that you own your own show.

Go get ‘em, tiger.

Gayle