Stop “Should-ing” on Yourself
When people ask me why I focus so much of my work on the concept of self-love, I admit freely that it wasn't my idea. It belonged to Louise Hay, who taught that most problems in our lives come from a lack of self-love and feelings of unworthiness.
I discovered Louise’s work at the exact time I needed it – when I was contemplating my next step in many areas of my life: business, relationships, and purpose.
One of her concepts is quite profound:
“Should” should be a four-letter word, really. It's quite possibly the most damaging word in the English language.
Why? Because when we use the phrase, "I should do this...", we are basically doing that thing to meet someone else's expectations.
Here’s the rub: Any time we use the word “should,” we give away our personal power.
Here's the simple exercise Louise taught to help you stop should-ing on yourself:
Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.
At the top of one side, write the phrase, “I should…”
Under that, list everything you think you should do, big or small. For example: I should walk my dog more often. I should lose weight. I should get a new job. I should volunteer more, etc.
Once you’ve exhausted the list, title the other column, “If I really wanted to…”
Then, below it re-write all the “shoulds” you listed beginning with the phrase, “I could.” I could walk the dog more often, I could lose weight, and so on.
Why it works: The simple act of reframing your intentions into something you could do if you really wanted allows you to take your power back. And when you are in your power, you make choices that align to who you truly are.
You may discover that you really do want to do some of the things on this list. If so, that’s great! Just make sure it’s true for you, and life gets infinitely better.
That’s it for this week, friend! Happy could-ing!
Gayle
PS: Here’s a pro tip - you may need to repeat this exercise from time to time. The first time you do it, you may clear cut all the “shoulds” (and that will feel like real freedom!). But like all humans, you may find yourself falling back into the habit of saying you “should.” Just be patient with yourself and keep at it. Repeated action creates new habits and beliefs.
FURTHER EXPLORATION
FURTHER EXPLORATION
I highly recommend getting a copy of Louise Hay's book You can Heal Your Life and using it as a tool to keep yourself grounded.
Since its publication in 1984, this book has transformed the lives of millions. People credit it with profoundly altering their awareness of the impact that the mind has on health and well-being.
It's been newly repackaged for its 40th anniversary and features beautiful illustrations and timeless wisdom into the mind-body connection.
Full of positive affirmations, this practical book will change the way you think forever!
About Me
I am a business life coach who helps other entrepreneurs make more money while achieving greater peace. I do this by blending Business Made Simple's proven frameworks to help them achieve predictable business success, balanced with my own wisdom gained from an extensive exploration of mind-body-spirit principles and healing modalities.